When I have the money to, I will invest in mind reading technology that can extract all the information from my brain and put it on paper. I realise that this could be viewed as a bit of a win-lose situation due to parts of my brain that I probably don’t want people to see, but having the possibility of some scientist reading my deepest thoughts on Scarlett Johansson, Joan Jett and a shirted Sue Perkins is a small price to pay for never having to painfully scrape out or lose any thoughts and ideas from my head ever again.